Guest Author: Kelly Scarff
Poem One
The Waitress and Her Boss
A good day is when he doesn’t ask you
to show him your tits,
only tells you to pick up the crusty fork
that he’s thrown in front of him,
then takes a step back
to watch your technique.
Poem Two
The Red Balloon Launch, 1987
The balloons were released
on a Thursday. Mrs. Wagner’s
third grade class watched
their names and addresses
lift with the wind.
Hello, Jessica! Your red balloon
landed on my Rose of Sharon bush.
I found it while weeding my garden.
I am 50 years old and have two daughters
and a husband. How is third grade?
What is your favorite subject?
The cursive swayed like music.
Jessica’s mother hung the letter
on the refrigerator. “How nice of her
to write back,” she said.
Hello there! Your red balloon
is still in my Rose of Sharon.
It's tangled and my husband
won’t cut it out for me.
I've stopped watering the plant.
I hear ribbon is easier to untangle
when it’s attached to something dead.
The letter was wrinkled when Jessica
pulled it from the mailbox.
The cursive twisted into angles.
Her mother’s eyebrows
wrinkled while reading.
Hi. Your bicycle sounds lovely.
My husband took my set of keys to our Cutlass,
so now he’s the only one who can drive.
My Rose of Sharon is nearly dead.
I think the ribbon will come out easily,
but I’m not sure about the balloon.
It has dry rotted and crumbled into pieces.
The thick, scribbled handwriting
looked like the chalk
Mrs. Wagner used in math class.
Jessica hid the letter in the closet
with her Barbies.
Hey there. I’m sure you’ll do fine
on your spelling test.
I’m thinking of suicide.
My husband has been playing
with a woman from our church.
I gave her a Rose of Sharon
last year for her birthday.
I’m going to get it back this afternoon.
The capital letters were hard to read
against the stained paper.
Jessica threw the letter with her Barbies
when her mother called
her downstairs for grilled cheese.
Hello, Jessica. Robert has left me.
I’m sending this letter
from a different place now.
They have wonderful Jell-o here.
It’s red, like your balloon.
Please send a picture of yourself.
Enclosed is a dried petal from my Rose of Sharon.
Kelly Scarff avoids writing by Googling chickens. She is a graphic designer in Greensburg, PA.
Don't forget to subscribe to No Teeth! Look to the left of this post!
The Waitress and Her Boss
A good day is when he doesn’t ask you
to show him your tits,
only tells you to pick up the crusty fork
that he’s thrown in front of him,
then takes a step back
to watch your technique.
Poem Two
The Red Balloon Launch, 1987
The balloons were released
on a Thursday. Mrs. Wagner’s
third grade class watched
their names and addresses
lift with the wind.
Hello, Jessica! Your red balloon
landed on my Rose of Sharon bush.
I found it while weeding my garden.
I am 50 years old and have two daughters
and a husband. How is third grade?
What is your favorite subject?
The cursive swayed like music.
Jessica’s mother hung the letter
on the refrigerator. “How nice of her
to write back,” she said.
Hello there! Your red balloon
is still in my Rose of Sharon.
It's tangled and my husband
won’t cut it out for me.
I've stopped watering the plant.
I hear ribbon is easier to untangle
when it’s attached to something dead.
The letter was wrinkled when Jessica
pulled it from the mailbox.
The cursive twisted into angles.
Her mother’s eyebrows
wrinkled while reading.
Hi. Your bicycle sounds lovely.
My husband took my set of keys to our Cutlass,
so now he’s the only one who can drive.
My Rose of Sharon is nearly dead.
I think the ribbon will come out easily,
but I’m not sure about the balloon.
It has dry rotted and crumbled into pieces.
The thick, scribbled handwriting
looked like the chalk
Mrs. Wagner used in math class.
Jessica hid the letter in the closet
with her Barbies.
Hey there. I’m sure you’ll do fine
on your spelling test.
I’m thinking of suicide.
My husband has been playing
with a woman from our church.
I gave her a Rose of Sharon
last year for her birthday.
I’m going to get it back this afternoon.
The capital letters were hard to read
against the stained paper.
Jessica threw the letter with her Barbies
when her mother called
her downstairs for grilled cheese.
Hello, Jessica. Robert has left me.
I’m sending this letter
from a different place now.
They have wonderful Jell-o here.
It’s red, like your balloon.
Please send a picture of yourself.
Enclosed is a dried petal from my Rose of Sharon.
Kelly Scarff avoids writing by Googling chickens. She is a graphic designer in Greensburg, PA.
Don't forget to subscribe to No Teeth! Look to the left of this post!
These are WEIRD! Awesome. Okay, the second one is weird. The first one is just true. Thanks for sharing Kelly--Kelly rocks. I'm really curious about what influenced "The Red Balloon Launch, 1987"--it's so specific.
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